My name is John. I was first diagnosed with depression when I was around 16 years old. Im 29 now and over the years I have battled with depression and anxiety in many different ways. After I was coaxed into taking a bad dose of LSD when I was 16 I have never been the same since. I have hallucinations which have thankfully reduced over the years but have become a little more frequent again over the last 6 months. I cant sleep sometimes for a few days at a time and I constantly have terrifying panic attacks which often feel like a heart attack or give me a feeling that something vital within my brain is going to pop and kill me. Im terrifyed of leaving the house and my social skills are next to none existant or they are exercised only via means of the internet.
 I have been in a rehabilitation centre in Belfast 3 times over the last lot of years and I was also in a mental hospital detox ward once for 3 weeks. Im a recovering alcoholic, diazepam addict and cannabis addict (even though some people would argue cannabis is only psychologically addictive).
 I have not had any use of alcohol in over 16 months thankfully and I also have not smoked any cannabis in quite a while.
  Over the last lot of years I have tried many different medications. In regards to anti- depressants and anti-anxiety medications the tablets I was on over the last lot of years are mirtazapine 45mg, prozac 60mg, citalopram, duloxetine, diazepam, temazepam, propanolol, zopliclone, seroxat, and a few others.
 Due to the recent increase in panic attacks which Ive been having over the last 6 months I went and seen a psychiatrist and consultant to get the appropriate diagnosis and medication. In the past while dealing with these type of professionals I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress, depression and addiction. I still dont feel as though I have been properly diagnosed or had my problems anywhere near addressed ( with the exception of addiction). I still feel some form of undiagnosed and unaddressed mental illness is there. The last appointment I had with the consultant left me being told my symptoms are related to fear( which left me none the wiser) and also resulted me being perscribed the medication, Efexor / Effexor / Venlafaxine.
  As soon as I was told I was being perscribed these tablets I checked them up on the internet and some of the stories I had read and videos I watched on youtube where pretty terrifying.

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